maybe I, too, have been projecting my will much of the time instead of letting Malon talk on her own. How can one know for sure that they were not parroting or unconsciously imagining their tulpa talking?
Have to be more clear as to what "out of nowhere" means, because I feel like it's something that a lot of people can define differently
1:06 PM
Like, does it mean "the response is fully and totally alien and comes out of nowhere in the sense that you're just going about your day and you hear a response"
1:07 PM
ahh, nevermind, I guess it kind of really only has one definition in that sense.
sometimes I get an incomplete thought from AJ, like the child of a though, the entire idea but in her own kind of gobble dee gook
1:09 PM
like if normals words are a train, these are crumpled together and smooshed so that they are a quarter the length, but you can stil make out the details of the cars
Huh. Thoughts thatI did not creare occur sometimes, while unexpected thoughts are very rare. There is probably something that resembles a tulpa in my head, but she's probably not strong at all.
Then again, I'm not good at receiving and understanding thoughts or distinguishing their sources. Maybe that's why she seems to be weak even though she might not be weak.
From my experience of proxying her to talk to someone else and answer questions, they seem to be like what a young child would say (e.g. "I like red because... I like red!"). This assumes that the thoughts were not created on my own.
As for other responses, she seems to be a bit more cheerful and encouraging than I am.
Sounds about right to me, honestly. I was curious because you were talking that thoughts you don't create occur "sometimes" and I read that statement as "sometimes my tulpas responses don't feel like me thinking" and that seemed odd to me.
I can AJ's thoughts from mine, even if they feel like mine, they feel.. uniquley hers. just they way they are constructed and toned and worded, it is something I would struggle to mimic
My thoughts on your situation is that as you force you develop more "deep level" tells that go off without your real input or attention, and those tells eventually start being so tied into everything that they fire off for thoughts that occur throughout your day to day life. Time will help, if that is the case.
And as time passes the tells get more strong in the sense that they can persist for longer and longer trains of thought, allowing responses to go from "I like red!" to much longer and complex statements. Without that strength, eventually the "norm" kicks in and you start associating longer trains of thought with yourself again
like, the actual tone and speech patterns, you know your own thoughts, you can subconsciously tell yourself from, well, whatever the fuck else is in your head
An example of such a tell might be a bit of focus on some part of your head, some muscle moving a little bit, a change in mental voice, expecting a tulpa to speak at a certain time. The sort of thing where people might say the tulpa being switched would cause body language to change in subtle ways, but in reverse where your subtle learned changes in body language help to distinguish a tulpa speaking vs you speaking. Habits that just sort of show up as you force but probably aren't aware of at all.
2:07 PM
That is a theory of mine, but not tested or anything, so take it with a grain of salt
2:08 PM
And not just body language, but mental states as well, stuff like where you get a feeling associated with a smell or a thought brings back other memories
basically you have little tells for when your thinking on your own, say, you mouth the words to your thoughts.
as time goes on you are able to maintain this tell without noticing for longer and longer
???
profit
I think we may have a problem here, as for the majority of the time , if the above is actually correct, I am actually talking to myself while my tup is sitting right next to me
I think you kind of have the idea, but I wouldn't say it's about keeping up a tell for longer and longer, but keeping up the feeling that your tulpa is speaking, the tells would go without notice either way.
2:13 PM
while your tulpa is sitting next to me you?(edited)
While I am trying to talk to her while going about my day, with her sitting around somewhere on me, I may be talking to myself for quite a bit of the time, and she just sits there with no reaction
this transition time is essential and you should not question if this is your tulpa, because so far as I am personally concerned, it is. An early rendition, but your tulpa nonetheless.
2:20 PM
those doubts are the foundation, again in my belief, for what becomes the strong sensation that they are speaking.
Even after years and years people do deal with this sort of question of what thoughts belong to who. Even some of those who appear to be very very strong tulpamancers have issues with doubt on occasion. Sometimes they even find things to call it like "blending" to make it sound better than "doubt".
